Mr. & Mrs. Fitch

Compared to Twitter and blogging, print newspaper gossip now has a certain old-fashioned charm attached to it. In Douglas Carter Beane's new comedy "Mr. & Mrs. Fitch," John Lithgow and Jennifer Ehle play a married team of Manhattan gossip columnists whose desperate need to score scandalous news lands them in muddy waters. But besides some cute one-liners, this tedious play is as forgettable and insubstantial as the latest celeb rumors.

Set in an upscale, high ceiling penthouse apartment littered with evidence of high culture, the two-character play begins with the couple stumbling back home after a late-night benefit event. It seems they still don't have enough gossip to fill their daily column. Out of desperation, they decide to invent their own celebrity involved in a sex scandal.

As you've probably already guessed, act two reveals the disastrous consequences of this decision. Finally fed up with their lives, they randomly decide to quit gossip and write the Great American Novel. Seriously, that's how it ends.

Beane has fun imbuing his characters with literary wit and sassy social commentary. At one point, they even speak in "imaginary Maya Angelou titles." He even raises some legitimate questions about journalism ethics.

Yet this is the kind of play that thinks it's far funnier than it actually is. The concept is undercooked, the characters are undeveloped, and the strained storytelling drags aimlessly alongside the one-liners.

Lithgow and Ehle have strong chemistry and make the best of their weak mateiral. Lithgow, in particular, delivers an unapologetically silly and haughty performance that recalls his childlike behavior on the television series "3rd Rock from the Sun."

"Mr. & Mrs. Fitch" is at Second Stage Theatre through March 21.

305 W. 43rd St., 212-246-4422, 2st.com.